Funnies

At work on Tuesday I was cleaning out my hard drive on my computer. I came across a couple poems I had to write while I was at the Elementary school about an embarrassing story. I shared them on my very first post for this blog on July 7, 2010. They made me laugh and I looked back on some of my first posts, which also made me laugh. It's fun to reminisce sometimes!! Anyway, I have picked up a few new readers along the way so I thought I would share 2 of my embarrassing stories with you in poem form. :) Each of them is 100% true....enjoy!!

Petsmart 

I have two dogs and they love to go out

“Let’s go to PetSmart”, I gave them a shout

I loaded them up and got in the car

Their heads out the window, they hoped to go far

We pull up at the store, they start to go wild

This is somewhere they hadn’t been in a while

My first mistake was going without help

To deal with the dogs when they start to yelp

We get in the store, I put the small dog in the basket

She’s not happy and making a racket

I tie the big dogs leash to the handle

To try to control him as we amble

My small dog is still crying and whining

So I put her down and she begins shining

Everything is running smoothly

We get on the toy aisle and both begin drooling

The small dog decides she needs to go to the next aisle

So under the row she crawls for a while

She’s now on the aisle next to me

I don’t know how to get her back so I plead

She does not listen, she does not care

I let the leash go and run around with a glare

Pick her up, go back to my cart

It’s no where to be found, that was smart

I let it go to get the small dog

Forgetting that it was tied to a hog

My big dog has taken off dragging it behind

When I realize what’s happened there is a line

People are running to get out of the way

Of my dog and the cart wandering astray

One end cap, no two, now three destroyed

I want to lie down and pass into the void

I can’t find him, he’s out to roam

I decide to just leave him there and go home

As I walk to the door the announcement is heard

“Will the person with the dog tied to the cart please return?”

To the front of the store I go with my head held low

Take my dog and leave before they can bestow

All the destruction he wrecked upon their store

Needless to say, he goes with me no more

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Dog Door

It happened but only a few years ago

The day that really bruised my ego

I came home to play with my two furry friends

And ended up never being the same again

I went in the backyard to enjoy the sun

After a while I decided I’d had enough fun

Pushing the handle to get back in the house

Was the moment I realized I’d been locked out

Reaching in my pocket to pull out my phone

Is when I see it sitting on the counter (inside) alone

No neighbors are home for me to try and call

My husband at work before I begin to bawl

I go back to my house to figure out what to do

I see my dogs inside, count them one and two

“How did they get in?” I ponder

And then it comes to me with wonder

Their dog door is flapping in the wind

This may be my ticket in

Our biggest dog is 120 pounds

I no longer need to be down

This dog can’t be much bigger than me

I’m looking through the door down on my knee

I put in one arm, my shoulders are through

If my neighbors could see me, oh what a view

Now to my hips, I realize I’m stuck

Claustrophobia sets in, oh what luck

(For those that don’t know this

I’m HIGHLY claustrophobic)

Everything goes black, I don’t recognize this place

I wake up to my little dog licking my face

That’s right, I passed out with the door around my waist

I hurried and backed out of that dog door in a haste

I decided to give up on getting in

Sweating and pale, I thought this was the end

Went to the front door to wait for my husband

He laughed and laughed when he heard my conundrum

I now find it funny, this story it’s true

At the time it was something that really made me blue

Laugh, laugh, laugh all you want

Embarrassing stories forever will haunt